Ahhhhh, Mother’s Day. That glorious Sunday in May when mothers everywhere lounge luxuriously in bed.
We’re all peacefully waiting for our badly buttered toast to arrive, paired with an alcohol heavy mimosa. And then the whole family skips to brunch with happy, shiny faces.
Everything is right on Mother’s Day, as we celebrate the years of excruciating physical labor it takes to raise up a child. Many moms mark this occasion with flowers, wine, candy, cards and a trip to the spa.
Except for me.
Instead of my sweet baby angels bringing me cold cereal, I was awakened at zero dark thirty by my child screaming. I rolled over to nudge my husband, reminding him that it’s my day to sleep in, except, oh wait, I’m riding solo today.
Just like many Mother’s Days past, and certainly in the future as well, the military has thoughtfully scheduled field exercises today.
Guess who won’t have any work obligations on June 17 though? My husband.
Instead, he’ll probably be at the golf course celebrating Father’s Day. All alone. While I handle the kids by myself. Again.
Why is my husband always gone for Mother’s Day, but home for Father’s Day?
It seems like a cruel joke the military likes to play on me every year.
“Hahahaha, let’s leave all the non-active duty moms at home without their spouse today. Oh, but make sure the men are all home for Father’s Day. Can’t miss playing a few holes, am I right?”
Well, this year the joke’s on you, Dad! Because I’m observing delayed Mother’s Day due to scheduling conflicts. My personal Mother’s Day just happens to be on Father’s Day. Weird, right?
It seems like you might have had an OK time at your “exercise” in Seoul. I heard the all-you-can-eat Korean barbecue was delicious. The K-Pop karaoke looked fun too. I’m sure having a hotel room all to yourself with no one needing you to wipe their nose was pure torture.
Bonus: you got paid to be there!
Since you got your special day early, I’m going to go ahead and take mine right now.
When Dad’s Gone in May, Mom Plays in June
You’ll get to celebrate the joys of fatherhood the same way I basked in the glow of motherhood while you were gone. In short: alone.
That’s right, the kids are all yours today. Because you should spend Father’s Day celebrating with the precious little tykes who call you Dad.
Let’s start the day early. I’ll head out for a long sunrise run so that you can be the first face the kids see in the morning. Such a wonderful gift!
Next, you can enjoy a chilled coffee over soggy cereal. The handwritten cards will tug at your heartstrings.
Then, head out to the beach, pool or playground. Really, go wherever your heart desires. If you can get them to handle sitting in the cart, take them to the golf course. If not, mini golf is basically the same thing.
I won’t even be mad when you bring them back loaded up with sugar and sticky with melted ice cream. They have summer camp tomorrow!
While you’re out celebrating, I’ll make sure to prep the grill and food for you to cook when you return. I want you to have the honor of getting those steaks just right.
As for the middle part of the day, I was planning on having a working me-day. I’ll field some emails, check Facebook and then head off to be tortured at the spa. I’m talking brunch, massage, pedicure and facial. All while sipping champagne. It’s going to be terrible.
You can swing by to get me on your way back from mini golf.