Resources and Tips to Get You Exploring the Great Outdoors

A recent assignment led me to visit Point Defiance Park not far from where I live. This crown jewel of Tacoma has been a city park for over 100 years. It is rare to have an old growth forest right in the middle of town. There are plenty of trails and garden spaces that I felt totally comfortable exploring on my own. At the end of the day my coronavirus blues were chased away, and I felt better able to cope with everything going on in the world right now. I am lucky to live in an area with many beautiful outdoor recreational spaces right in town. How do you find the great places to get outside especially if you are new to an area?

There are two passes you must have when exploring your area. The first is the America the Beautiful Park Pass which is a pass that allows military families free visits to National Parks, Monuments, Forests and much more.  Just show your military ID at entrance of any national park to receive your pass. I signed up for mine at a Wildlife Refuge. You will also need a state park pass which you will have to pay for. In Washington, the Discover Pass is $30 for the year and a one day admission to many state parks is $10 so it will quickly pay off. Many military installations outdoor rec sell the state passes.

A great place to start is Outdoor Recreation on your military installation. Most offer group day trips which are a fun way to explore your local area and meet new people. Another good on base resource is your local Spouses Club. Most have subclubs which you can join with people of similar interests such as the hiking club or a local explorers group.

An extensive new resource the ParkPassport app has been developed by Blue Star Parks, a program of the Blue Star Families. The new app has more than 2,000 national parks and other federal recreational which you can access via the park finder feature. Reviews are positive with people loving the park finder feature and finding out how many places are in their area. You can also connect with friends and show experiences. It includes a virtual passport where you can collect badges, a feature kids will love.

Military Spouses know how tough it is moving and meeting new people. Military Wild is an organization founded by military spouses who know how you feel. The group has chapters and ambassadors all over the country and the world with the mindset every duty station is what you make of it. Connect with your local chapter to enjoy group hikes and other adventures with likeminded military families who love exploring the outdoors.

Facebook groups are another good way to connect with people to plan outdoor activities. I belong to Travelers from JBLM. Members post questions asking for suggestions on what to do while those who have lived in the area longer provide answers. Often members link up to do things together.

Sometimes you may just want to get away from the military community and if so, there are many civilian groups that are worth checking out. Find your local trail association online and look for their resources. Usually they will list groups that get together to hike as well as classes on the wilderness in your area. The Washington Trail Association is a wealth of information everything from hiking with children, new to hiking guide, find a hike, and someone to hike with resources. If you love the outdoors volunteering to work on trails near you is another way to meet now people. Check out your trail association to see what is available in your area.

The great outdoor spaces with fresh air and the sounds of birds chirping in the trees go a long way to helping you cope with our world situation. It is easy to forget everything while exploring the while. Remember to continue your COVID-19 precautions even when outdoors. Keep your social distancing and while you don’t need to wear a mask when hiking, keep it handy in case you come upon others. Parks are seeing record numbers visiting during the pandemic so plan to visit early or on weekdays for less crowds.

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.PeggyWhereShouldIGo.com

We’ve been trapped in our houses and yards for what feels like an eternity. There is no escaping to a tropical getaway location. Heck, it feels “exotic” to go to the next county over!

But you can (and should) freshen up your house with a few pretty, easy plants. It’s a new pop of color in a place that otherwise looks exactly the same as it did approximately 295* days ago.

*Not necessarily an accurate count of pandemic duration, just how I long I feel I’ve been trapped in the house with my kids.

Breathe Life into Your House with 5 Easy-Care Plants

Get your ordering fingers ready because you’re going to need some pots, soil and a few spades. You’ve got digging to do!

Succulents for Life!

Is there a plant that easier to care for than a succulent? Probably not.

A little water, some sun and you’ve got yourself a pretty happy plant. Bonus: succulents come in all shapes and sizes and colors. Meaning you can go big or small!

Grow Some Herbs

Know what’s great? When your new plant baby does two things: brightens up your house and provides yummy seasoning for your meals.

Winning!

Plant a little basil or rosemary, both super easy to grow inside, in pots on your windowsill. Then pluck off a few sprigs anytime your dinner needs a little more pizzazz!

Add Christmas All Year Long

Pops of bright red and green mean Christmas in my house. But also they’re the festive colors of your new Christmas cactus!

This super easy to grow plant is also kid and pet safe!

A Spider You’ll Love

Spider plants are the number one plant to get if your thumb is more brown or black than green. They’re basically impossible to kill!

Also, they grow tiny new plant babies called spiderettes that you can gift to your friends. You’ll be able to create a whole community of related plants!

Easy-Care Mini Orchids for the Win!

Orchids are scary and delicate, except if they’re mini orchids!

Plant these colorful, tropical beauties in a place with lots of moisture and sun. Definitely read the care instruction carefully before you purchase.

What are your favorite plants right now? Sound off in the comments!

By Marguerite Cleveland

There comes a time when the children have finally moved out of the home and you can rekindle your relationship with your spouse. Being an empty nester is the time to have regular date nights and take those bucket list trips you’ve been planning forever. Unfortunately, COVID-19 has reared its ugly head wreaking havoc on so many plans.

For many families, the impact has been kids moving back home with on campus college classes canceled or for economic reasons with so many unemployed. For Kimberlee, a newly retired military spouse, her twins have been home from college since March. They are scheduled to return to school in September but that is up in the air with so many colleges going to distant learning for the fall. She hasn’t felt too much impact as their retirement home has a guest house which gives her boys their own space.

In other cases, families have had to ask their children to move out due to safety concerns with the COVID-19 virus. Susan, a retired military spouse said, “Our 25-year-old son lived with us while going to school, he graduated this spring. The first 2 months of the pandemic he did great, school, work, home. Then he started staying out later, so we had a discussion and decided it was time for him to move out. We just didn’t want to risk him bringing Covid home. Such a hard decision to make, I miss him so much. My husband and I have been working from home during this time-lots of home projects, gardening, reorganizing, and reading (this has been the best part). I miss our weekend trips, impromptu gatherings and being with friends.

Across the country adult children are returning home in droves and it can add financial stress for empty nesters. It is important to set boundaries and expectations to newly returned adult children. It is not unreasonable to expect help with chores and doing their own laundry. Ask for modest rent payment or help with groceries if they are receiving unemployment or other income. If you feel uncomfortable collecting rent do so and sock it away in an account and you can give them a lump sum when they move out.  Also set standards for your expectations regarding the COVID-19 virus.

The biggest change of the COVID-19 pandemic for many is putting the Empty Nester Moon on the back burner. Empty Nesters love to travel and have planned for a big bucket list trip which must now be canceled with no idea of when it can be rescheduled. Take the time to rediscover your hometown. Retired military families may end up where you never lived before so now is a good time to explore. Check out what tourist things are open in your area that you may not have visited before. Take a weekend road trip within your state. Be spontaneous and check for last minute deals. It is so easy to just get up and go when you are only planning for two. Take advantage of adult children at home for pet sitting.

Take the time to Dream about future travel. I love Viking Cruise line which has a list of books you should read and movies you should watch that are curated to learn about the destinations of your future cruise. You can plan evenings to watch a movie and prepare food from that region. Cruises from the U.S. are suspended until September and the expectation is that date will be pushed back. MSC Cruise Line recently welcomed back cruisers with a completely revamped cleansing protocol which includes hospital grade cleaners. Ships set sail with 70% capacity and masks must be worn in when social distancing is not practical such as in an elevator. Guests are tested at the port of entry and temperatures of all guests taken daily. So, there is hope for future travel.

One of the things many empty nesters enjoy is hanging out with friends by going out to restaurants, wine tasting or having get togethers at home. During the pandemic most of those things are off limits so what to do. Get familiar with Zoom and have virtual parties. Have everyone order a whiskey or wine tasting kit with samples and have a Zoom Party and share online your thoughts. Another option is to have everyone order from the same restaurant and pretend you are out to eat together.

As this pandemic drags on, we all continue to find creative ways to do things that used to be normal. No one knows what the future will bring but one thing is sure military families have the resilience to handle it.

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.PeggyWhereShouldIGo.com

Right about now, you should be making your list of back-to-school supplies and getting ready for the kids to head back into the classroom. Except this is 2020 and nothing is certain, even K-12 school. No matter what the next 10 months hold, you can still do a little prep for an uncertain school year.

How to Prep for an Uncertain School Year

The first thing is to make peace with the uncertainty of education for our kids. Just like the last six or so months, normal is no longer a thing. We’re all navigating this new world together.

Right now, the best thing we can do is maintain flexibility. Luckily, being able to pivot on a dime is something the military community is good at!

Consider Your Options

While many states and districts are looking to reopen in some capacity, not all schools will be returning to traditional 5-day a week instruction.

What is more likely is for schools to offer one or more options to families. Those options may likely include:

• 100% remote learning
• Hybrid learning with some in-person learning and some online learning
• Traditional instruction

Each option your school or district may offer needs to be carefully weighed and considered.

In making your decision, you should consider:

• Your child’s learning style since online learning doesn’t work well for all children
• Additional learning needs, like IEPs, 504 Plans and Gifted Education
• Your work schedule and job requirements
• Child care options outside of K-12 school

Know Where We Stand on COVID-19 & Schooling

As of publication, COVID-19 cases are spiking in many states in the US. When other nations reopened their public schools, cases were in a steady decline or had been nearing zero.

Much like this spring, the ultimate decision about school reopening in any capacity may ultimately out of your hands. If your school opens in August or September, future surges of COVID-19 could force the building to close again. Already, schools in LA and San Diego will be shuttered in September amid a sharp rise in cases.

Should similar circumstances occur in other areas of the US, it would not be surprising if schools were closed again in the 2020-2021 school year.

Understand & Teach Safety for School

Part of safely returning to school in the fall means taking additional measures for your child’s personal safety, as well as supporting teachers’ efforts to stay healthy.

Before entering the classroom your child should understand:

• Importance of wearing a mask 100% of the time
• Social distancing as often as possible in school
• Proper hand washing routines
• Need to frequent hand sanitization
• Rationale behind not sharing anything with anyone

Right now, there isn’t a lot of data about COVID-19’s spread among children. However, schools and classrooms are closed environments where students will be in close quarters. Maintaining recommendations about masks and keeping physically distant from others is important to keeping everyone healthy.

To support teachers, parents should:

• Keep your child home at the first sign of illness
• Help teachers keep the classroom sanitized with cleaning products and hand sanitizer
• Be vocal with school leaders to support teachers’ well-being and continued health

Remain Ready to Pivot to At-Home Learning

No matter what you personally do to keep your own family safe, you do not have control over other families. A spike in cases has the potential to close physical school building and return to distance learning.

In order to make this pivot, it’s important that all families prep early – just in case.

Right now, parents should:

• Consider back-up child care options for hybrid learning and possible school closures
• Talk with their employer about work-from-home options
• Think about other options for K-12 education, if possible

At home, consider setting up an at-home learning center for your child if you don’t already have a similar space. You could include a desk, pens/pencils, art supplies, folders and notebooks as well as a place to charge computers or tablets.

If you do not believe that the current online learning program provided by your child’s school is a good fit, now is a great time to explore other options.

• Private tutoring
• Homeschool co-op
• Private online school
• Individual homeschool
• Private in-person school

The most important way to prepare right now, though, is to remain flexible and consider all of your options. We have no way to predict the future of both the pandemic and the state of K-12 education in the US. The situation remains fluid and is evolving daily.

Parents of school-aged children should be prepared to pivot to distance learning or to jump to alternate child care and schooling options as needed.

What is your family planning to do for K-12 education this fall? What factors are you considering? Sound off in the comments.

If you or your loved one suffers from PTSD, the COVID-19 pandemic can have an effect on their symptoms. The ways we keep safe during this pandemic by sheltering in place, staying away from loved ones and wearing masks can increase anxiety. According to the National Center for PTSD, here are some ways the pandemic can affect those suffering from PTSD:

• Health and Safety – Many people have concerns about their health and safety during a pandemic but for those with PTSD it can be more intense or more frequent. They may find themselves more anxious even in places they felt safe in the past. There may be more worry about catching the illness. Open public places can be a trigger and those suffering may be more “keyed up” than normal about things other than COVID-19.
• Trauma Triggers – All the talk of COVID – 19 and the constant discussion of it on the news night after night like it is a battle or war can be triggering. If the trauma involved difficulty breathing, wearing a mask can induce panic or other symptoms.
•  Avoiding Things That Are Safe – There are plenty of things we can’t do now because of the pandemic but you or your loved one may find themselves avoiding shopping or exercising outside which are considered safe or isolating more than necessary by not communicating over video or telephone.
•  Negative Thoughts and Feelings May Increase – Some examples are feeling you have no control over anything due to COVID-19. Activities you normally do to control your symptoms may not be available to you causing irritability. Spending more time with loved ones than usual can cause a short fuse. Feelings of guilt and shame can arise over not being able to do something for yourself.
• Sleep and Concentration – You may find falling asleep or concentrating more difficult due to the pandemic. An increase in PTSD symptoms can effect the quality of your sleep.

Visit the Veterans Administration’s The National Center for PTSD for more information and resources available during the COVID-19 Pandemic.

There has not been enough research on whether dogs help treat PTSD but owning a dog helps you feel less stress, lifts your mood, and helps you feel better by providing companionship. All owners including those with PTSD can receive these benefits. Some treatments for PTSD include the use of service dogs or emotional support dogs but these are not substitutes for effective PTSD treatment. According to The National Center for PTSD, here are some other benefits:

• Help bring out feelings of love.
• Are good companions.
• Take orders well when trained. This can be very comfortable for a Servicemember or Veteran who was used to giving orders in the military.
• Are fun and can help reduce stress.
• Are a good reason to get out of the house, spend time outdoors, and meet new people.

The VA does not provide service dogs but it does provide veterinary care for service dogs (not emotional support animals or pets) that are medically necessary for Veterans with permanent physical conditions. The VA has an ongoing research study on dogs and PTSD which will take several years. If the research determines that use of service dogs is beneficial for PTSD then the VA will provide veterinary care for these dogs.

For those interested in adopting a dog to help combat feelings of isolation during this pandemic here are some resources:

Pets for Patriots –  This organizational helps Veterans adopt a dog or cat from local shelters as a pet and they are not service animals. You must have a DD-214 to determine eligibility. If you are accepted into their program there are lots of benefits that can help reduce the costs of pet care. They will help you find, adopt and afford a pet. From their website, benefits include:

• ADOPTION SPECIAL – Our shelter partners provide at least one additional benefit to you upon adoption, such as pet training, ‘day one’ essentials or adoption fee discounts.
• DISCOUNTED PET CARE – Every one of our veterinary partners offers a minimum ongoing 10% fee discount for the care of pets adopted through our program.
• MEMBERS-ONLY DISCOUNTS – We curate exclusive discounts from high-quality pet e-tailers to help veterans in our program save money on pet health insurance, treats, pet food, medication and supplies from trusted brands.
• ‘WELCOME HOME’ GIFT CARD – We give a one-time $150 pet retailer e-gift to help with the purchase of pet food, supplies, and essentials, and which can be used online or in-store. Arrangements available for veterans without internet access.
• PRE-ADOPTION COUNSELING – Have questions about pet adoption, our program, or just need a ‘helping paw’ at the shelter? Our team is available to make your pet adoption process as smooth as possible.
• POST-ADOPTION FOLLOW UP – We’ve got your six! While our official follow up occurs over a one-year period, we’re always here if you have questions, need information or other pet-related assistance.
• VIP PETCARE PARTNERSHIP – Veterans who adopt an eligible dog or cat through Pets for Patriots now have access to additional savings on affordable, routine, preventative veterinary care through our partnership with VIP Petcare.

Pets for Vets – Veterans must go to their website to apply. This program provides a four step process called ‘Super Bond’. It helps a Veteran find the perfect pet for their situation in four steps:

• Step 1 Getting to Know the Veteran – They spend time with the Veteran to learn about what will be the best pet fit for them based on lifestyle, personality, and needs. This helps them pick the perfect Pet for the Veteran.
• Step 2 Getting to Know the Veteran – The next step involves getting to know the animal so they can find the best fit for the Veteran.
• Step 3 Training – Founder Clarissa Black designed a training program using positive reinforcement training philosophy. This helps the Veteran and the dog build trust and respect while not using force.
• Step 4 The Match – This is the day that brings the Veteran and their new pet together.

American Humane – First to Serve – This is an organization devoted to the safety and welfare of animals and it has a variety of military initiatives. One is theirPups4Patriots which rescues unwanted dogs and trains them to be service dogs for veterans with PTSD and TBI. They also do grants to help Veterans pay for and care for a service dog and help navigate the applications process for a PTS service dog. Currently there are no national standards for PTS service dogs which leads to many obstacles for Veterans. American Humane is leading an effort to create national training standards and advocate for the rights of Veterans and their dogs.

A pet can be a great way to help those suffering from isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic. If you’d like to help any of these organizations accept volunteers or donations to help with their missions.

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.PeggyWhereShouldIGo.com

On March 26, 2020, the Senate passed the Ryan Kules and Paul Benne Specially Adaptive Housing Improvement Act of 2019. This was a different version of the bill which the House passed on July 23, 2019. With the Senate changes the bill is now at the House where it is waiting a final vote. The bill changes the current program by allowing blind veterans to use the program, increases funding from about $85,000 to about $98,000, and it extends access to the funding from three times to six times.

According to the news release from Senator Jerry Moran’s (R-Kan.) office who sponsored a Senate version of the bill with Senator Kyrsten Sineme (D-Ariz.), the bill was introduced to expand Specially Adapted Housing (SAH) eligibility for seriously injured or ill veterans. It was named after Army Colonel (Ret.) Paul Benne, MD, MPH. The companion legislation was introduced by U.S. Representatives Gus Bilirakis (FL-12), David Roe (TN-01) and Mike Levin (CA-49),to the House and named the Ryan Kules Specially Adaptive Housing Improvement Act of 2019.

“This legislation will serve veterans who may need similar assistance to that received by Colonel Benne by expanding SAH eligibility qualifications for seriously ill or injured veterans,” said Sen. Moran. “This modernized and expanded grant program will allow veterans to utilize vital SAH grants in a way that best fit their needs – providing greater support and improving the quality of life for many of our nation’s veterans. Thank you to Colonel Benne and his wife, Christine, for their decades of selfless service to our nation and for their advocacy, resiliency and willingness to share their story, which will undoubtedly help many veterans in the future.”

“Many veterans carry wounds from their service that make everyday life more challenging,” said Sen. Sinema.“That is why our bill is so important; it breaks down barriers and helps veterans access the specially adaptive housing benefits they’ve earned.”

Col. (Ret.) Benne received a rating of 100 percent disabled when he retired from the U.S. Army after 23 years due to a medical condition. He applied for a SAH grant to help pay for the costs of making his home wheelchair adaptable. After trying for more than a year to receive a grant through this program he reached out to Sen. Moran’s office for assistance. After three months Sen. Moran’s office was able to help Benne achieve a favorable decision on his claim. The legislation was developed to help other veterans facing the same issues Benne had while navigating the process. At the time Benne said, “Sen. Moran is good about putting veterans first. “This SAH grant has given me the ability to stay at home and my family the ability to better care for me. As my disease continues to change, the ability to change my surroundings will be met with this legislation.”

Currently Blind Veterans do not have access to an SAH grant. This bill will allow them to participate in the grant program. Some technology used to adapt a blind person’s home includes safer cooktops, voice-activated thermostats and for those with poor vision special lighting and window treatments.

The bill will also provide access to SAH grants more times for disabled Veterans. This is needed so that when a Veteran moves to a bigger home to accommodate a growing family or moving due to a new job they will have a grant to help with the cost of adapting the new home such as widening hallways and doorways, adding wheelchair ramps or lowing countertops to accommodate a wheelchair. Also, some modifications need upkeep over time such as replacing a wheelchair ramp.

The urgency of getting bills like this passed for our veterans really hit home when Col. (Ret.) Paul Benne for whom this bill was named died in December 2019 at the age of 54.

Marguerite Cleveland is a freelance writer who specializes in human interest and travel stories. She is a military brat, a veteran and now a military spouse.  Her military experience is vast as the daughter of a Navy man who served as an enlisted sailor and then Naval Officer. She served as an enlisted soldier in the reserves and on active duty, then as an Army Officer. She currently serves as a military spouse. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two sons. Visit her website www.PeggyWhereShouldIGo.com

Military troops and federal employees, to varying degrees, cannot use their roles, positions, uniforms or jobs to support or demean any political party, movement or elected official at the federal and state level. Basically, what it means is that troops can’t say they support or oppose someone while in uniform.

But where does that leave the spouses of military personnel?

Can Military Spouses Be Vocally Politically Active?

Quick answer: yes. You, as an American, citizen have the right to exercise your First Amendment right to free speech during election season.

You can speak out about your political views, support your candidates of choice and join any political marches or protests you’d like.

There are also limits to what you, the non-serving spouse, may display at your home or on your car.

For example, bumper stickers on cars are totally fine, according to an article on The Balance Careers. However, military members, and their families by extension, should avoid large signs, posters or banners on cars, in yards or in homes are not allowed.

Military spouses who also hold a federal job, like a DODEA teacher, also fall under the Hatch Act. The rules regulating political speech and activity are similar to those that military troops must follow. Basically, don’t use your role or position as a federal employee to promote anything politically.

Many Military Spouses Fear Repercussions for Political Views

While military spouses can be visibly politically active, it seems that many abstain out of fear.

Articles on MilitarySpouse, NextGenMilSpouse and Military Families all noted that many spouses avoided being political in order to maintain the status quo. Some have felt that their politics were outside the “norm” or might prevent their spouse from being promoted.

However, your political activity should not impact your spouse’s career since you do not fall under the same political speech regulations as active duty troops.

If you feel more comfortable avoiding political discussions, that is your choice to make. You should not feel as though your political views will impact your spouse’s military career.

Ways You Can Get Politically Involved

Military spouses can get be politically involved in whatever way feels comfortable to you.

Before you jump into the fray, do a little research. Know your political views and research your positions. The Pew Research Center has a comprehensive assessment to help determine which political views, and candidates, match your opinions.

Then reach out to the local organizing committee in your current area. It’s as simple as searching for “political party + location” online. Send an email or use their contact form to get involved. Political organizers are always looking for volunteers!

Finally, follow through. Stay involved and up-to-date on the issues surrounding the upcoming election. Reading newspapers and watching news broadcasts from across the political spectrum can be useful in helping to create an informed opinion.

Military spouses can even run for local office wherever you are stationed. Homefront Rising is a grassroots organization associated with the Military Spouse JD Network to help facilitate this process.

Have you been politically active as a military spouse? Share your experience in the comments!

I’ve been living the military life for over a decade now. In that time, we’ve lived all over the world, including homes both on and off military bases.

While living on base definitely has it’s perks, like being completely surrounded by a community that “gets” situations unique to military life, I’m a strong advocate for living off base whenever possible.

The Case for Living Off Base

Don’t get me wrong. We’ve enjoyed living in base housing. Being surrounded by mostly caring military families who understand about TDYs and deployments is great.

However, living on base, to me at least, means that my spouse is living where he works. He, and by extension our whole family, is constantly surrounded by military colleagues.

Again, that’s great when you need to have the always awkward “will you be my emergency contact” conversation with a person you met three seconds ago.

Still, living inside the military bubble 24/7 is a lot.

We Were Really Never Off Duty

From here on out, I’m going to use “we” because when our family has lived on base, we have been way more tied to everything about my husband’s military job. Every second of every day is consumed with military-centered realities.

There is no time for him to be “off.” Sure, there are weekends and he can take leave. Which is great and much needed.

But also, he’s still shaving every day and prepping for the inevitable moment when we run into his CO randomly.

Shop talk is always happening. There is never a chance to just talk-talk, to talk about literally anything other than the military life. All of his conversations when we’ve living on base seem to revolve about work – even on weekends or when he’s on leave.

He is never not on duty, which means we are also always on duty. There is no break, no complete separation between work life and home life. Everything is military 24/7.

Off Base Living Gives Us Space to Breathe

Right now, we live off base. We’re coming off of three years of living in military housing OCONUS.

We needed a break from being constantly “on.”

Sure, he’s still “on” duty and reachable by phone or email 24/7. But it feels different than when his boss lived just down the street. He has to leave our living space to physically go to work or have work conversations. It’s no longer an in-passing situation.

I can see how much he needed this space away from the grind of military duties. Living within the military 24/7 meant he was never able to switch it off, ever.

Now, he leaves and returns our home in civilian clothes. There is a clear, definite transition between job and home. When we walk outside, there is very little chance of getting roped into future planning with a colleague or CO.

There is no shop talk.

We Have Freedom to Choose

We often joke that we had our biggest home before we had kids, and it’s true. Our first on base house dwarfs our current civilian home.

But we had no choice in where we lived on base. Sure, we were given “options,” but it was mostly choice in name only.

We could go with A or B, this or that.

The lack of choice was especially apparent OCONUS. On base living wasn’t even a choice; rather the housing office made that decision for us. Then they gave us two choices, this one or that one.

Luckily, our options were somewhat different, a townhome or an apartment. Others stationed with us were sometimes given adjoining townhomes, and asked to choose. We also know people who were asked to select between two identical apartments, on the same and often in the same building.

There was no choice in where we were assigned to live.

Living off base has given us this freedom back.

Making our housing decisions during our last move was great. We could consider all sorts of factors and options that just weren’t a thing had we lived on base.

We talked about square footage, windows, yard space, schools and commute options. We talked about neighborhoods and green spaces.

We had true, radically different choices to make about where we were going to live. And it felt so freeing.

Building Connections Between Military Life and Civilian Life

One of the biggest complaints I’ve heard in the last 12 years is that civilians just don’t “get” military families or military service.

Have you ever thought that maybe it’s because many military families are self-isolating in on base housing?

Right now, we have a few military-connected neighbors, but mostly our community is filled with folks who have no immediate connections to the DOD. It’s wonderful.

Beyond just being able to turn the military side of our lives off outside of working hours, it’s really cool to see the wonder and genuine curiosity if our neighbors eyes,

When we got dressed up for the ball last year, everyone came out to see us off. They had never seen those classic dress blues up close and personal. The kids wanted to examine his sword. And everyone thought it was incredible that I still got to dress up as a grownup; for everyone else that mostly stopped after their wedding day.

A few weeks ago, my husband casually mentioned that new neighbors (also military) would have been stuck in their old duty station under the recent stop movement orders had they moved any later. That thought never occurred to them before, that your whole life revolves around orders.

Over drinks a few months ago, someone asked about deployments. When I shared our deployment story, a refrain that common in our military community, my neighbors were stunned.

They had never really considered that someone they know and like had experienced something with the potential to be deadly. Hearing that I was only in my early 20’s, sending my spouse off to combat, knowing that people we knew wouldn’t make it home alive – I think it put things into a different perspective. Suddenly the casualty numbers became a little more real to them.

Living off base allows everyone to learn and grow freely as we build these important bridges together.

Do you prefer living on or off base? Sound off in the comments!

This weekend Americans will join together (hopefully at a safe distance) to celebrate the birth of the United States of America. From backyard BBQ’s to watching fireworks light up the night sky, we’ll unite as a nation to commemorate our Independence.

This year, let us remember that throughout history during uncertain times, we have been able to come together and unite for justice, peace, equality, wellness and love for all. This time is no different. This Independence Day, let all Americans not forget that what unites us are our differences and it’s our differences that make us stronger. They make us a nation, they make us the U.S.A.

One of the most well known excerpts from the Declaration of Independence reminds us of the groundwork for our civic responsibility and sets the foundation for citizenship that Americans must uphold.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson

We as citizens, should live by these words and never forget how they brought us together and will continue to do so as a nation.

This day and every day forward we stand united!

From our Military Shoppers News family to you and yours, we wish you a Happy and Safe 4th of July!

Sure, the community fireworks displays and parades might need to be reconsidered this summer, but we can still safely celebrate the 4th of July in patriotic style!

Safely Celebrating the 4th of July During the Pandemic

For many, 4th of July means huge BBQ blowouts, fireworks and parades. This year, with the highly contagious pandemic still rolling through our communities, many of us are considering different ways to safely celebrate.

To help you stay safe while honoring America’s Independence Day, we’ve brainstormed a few options to get inspire you!

Backyard BBQ for Just You

Instead of hosting your entire neighborhood or unit for a massive party, keep the guest list smaller and more intimate. Perhaps consider limiting invites to your immediate family only or including one other family with whom you’ve been quaranteaming.

However, big or small your BBQ is in 2020, it’s still a great time to go all out!

Fire up the grill and cook:

• burgers
• hot dogs
• ribs
• chicken
• corn
• veggies

Go nautical with a seafood feast, including:

• steamed clams, oysters, muscles
• peel-and-eat shrimp
• crayfish
• crabs

Include yummy sides like:

• chips and dips
• veggie trays
• corn on the cob
• potato salad
• pasta salad
• fruit salad

Even though your celebration is slightly smaller this year, it’s no less patriotic!

Decorate & Celebrate the 4th Safely

There are no parades, but your home and yard can still get all decked out!

Consider flying a flag, putting out bunting or painting artistic fireworks for your windows with DIY window paint! Get your children involved in the process and talk about why we’re celebrating independence in America.

If you live in a location that allows sparklers, you might consider enjoying a few of them to light up the night. Remember to observe fireworks safety and closely monitor children.

Enjoying a small fire and roasting marshmallows is another great way to enjoy the 4th of July safely. Break out the s’mores supplies for an evening of fun together.

Watch a Patriotic Movie Marathon

Celebrate the 4th of July with film. There are tons of great movies out there that honor our fight for freedom or have ties to independence as a theme.

Check out this list:

• The Patriot: the Mel Gibson Revolutionary War classic explores the ties between fathers and sons against the backdrop of 1776
• Top Gun: there’s nothing like the sound of jets and competing for the top spot to honor our independence
• The American President: watch a US president fall in love and navigate political upheaval
• National Treasure: Nic Cage follows a treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence while evading the bad guys; make sure to watch the sequel, too!
• Independence Day: Will Smith saves the US and world from alien invaders
• Mr. Smith Goes to Washington: a Jimmy Stuart classic about an idealistic young politician in DC
• Glory: the heroic actions of the 54th Massachusetts regiment in the Civil War are incredible
• Gettysburg: in 1863, Confederate and Union troops “celebrated” by fighting over the future course of the US in this Civil War classic
• Captain America: this superhero saves American troops, and the world, from Nazis and the forces of evil
• A League of Their Own: during WW2 women played professional baseball, with Tom Hanks giving a home run performance as a troubled coach

Take a Virtual Trip to DC

Sure, you might not be going to the fireworks on the Mall this year, but you can still enjoy a capital fourth virtually!

For 40 years, PBS has held a concert and fireworks display on the National Mall on July 4. While this year’s celebration is canceled, you can watch videos of last year’s concert and fireworks online!

While you’re “in” DC, you could also take virtual tours of the monuments and memorials on the National Mall or pop in to a Smithsonian for a quick peek.

How is your family celebrating Independence Day during the current pandemic? Sound off in the comments!