May is filled with lots of different appreciation days for the military community. There is Armed Forces Day on May 16 and Memorial Day, the more widely known military holiday on May 25. Separately, there is also a special day for military spouses. In 1984, the first Military Spouse Appreciation Day was observed as a way to celebrate the sacrifices made to those married to service members on the Friday before Mother’s Day.
Did you know that there are more than 1 million military spouses?
As military spouses, we personally experience the everyday challenges and deal with the roller coaster lifestyle on a regular basis. Not only that, we essentially chose this life because we happen to be in love with a man or woman in uniform.
I recently attended a change of command ceremony as a guest of the outgoing service member’s spouse because we volunteer together to raise money for a military dependent scholarship fund. She is a big influence in the military community here and as a result, the unit didn’t only recognize her husband, but her service as well. When her husband spoke about his time at the unit and his career, something stuck with me. He explained working with soldiers and whatnot, but then when he talked about family, he said something along the lines of spouses being the backbone of all military members. Without a strong support system at home, how could our military remain strong and mission ready?
I believe we keep the military force strong and effective by loving them unconditionally. So, with that said, that’s why I believe military spouses deserve a moment in the spotlight.
Here are 5 more great reasons why military spouses should be appreciated:
- Military spouses hold down the fort while military members are away. Right after “see you later,” we continue to live our lives and maintain the homefront for our families.
- Military spouses keep the fort running smoothly while they are home! I don’t know about you, but as soon as my husband walks in to door, he seems pretty clueless on what to do. Luckily, we work together as a team and accomplish lots of goals that way, but between you and me, I believe my husband might be a little lost without our partnership.
- Military spouses wear multiple hats and are used to playing multiple roles. Mom? Colleague? Student? Volunteer? The list goes on!
- Military spouses contribute big time to the community. To me, military spouses are such wonderful motivators and help each other out in the best possible ways.
- Military spouses do have to make certain sacrifices. Military families in general move 10 times more more often that civilian families. The transient lifestyle can be difficult to establish job security among other things. Did you know that 90% of military spouses are underemployed?
I asked my husband why he thought military spouses deserve an appreciation day and he answered “why not?” So, why not should people support those that support military members on the homefront? We certainly don’t have it the same as our military members, but we encounter our own obstacles. It’s important to acknowledge us that way we can continue a strong and loving relationship with our partners that happen to be military members.
Do you feel appreciated in your role as a military spouse?
Wonderful article. However, sadly no…I am not appriciated at all as a military spouse. My husband acts as if I do nothing. I have tried to explain, who do you thinks takes care of our home, our child, runs all errands…is the dr, chauffeur, cook, mom, maid, etc….I’ve had to give up good jobs where we’ve had to move. Now I’m unemployed and because of that, my husband says the money we have is his money, so I better not buy anything for myself with his money. This is the appreciation I get.
Dear Anngela, I’m sorry to hear that you’re married to such a jerk! He must be very young because he sounds so immature.
You do know that you can get family counseling on your Post/Base or from your Chaplin
I hope things improve for you soon.
Please know that most military men are not like this….
No. I do not feel appreciated.
I am very proud to be a military spouse. I am very proud of my wife and what she has accomplished. She can out do some of the males she works with and what I see around base! That is sad..I grew up in the military and saw how my mom sacrificed and how hard she worked to make our family continue while my dad was away. So, YES we do deserve recognition for what we do when our spouses are away and when they are here.
I guess the biggest issue I do have is that, male spouses of military members is or has ever been acknowledged. Not sure if other male spouses out there have the same feelings, but a lot of articles/functions/etc seem to cater to female spouses only. Our installations just recently had a spousal military appreciation function…the sponsors that were there had everything to do with women things. Male spouses could buy for their wives, but nothing that male spouses would even think of. Even the signs were in pink. The only thing they “offered” for males was that a BBQ place provided food and it was held at a golf course (no free green fees)
Male spouses have to deal with the same stuff female spouses go through when their significant others are away from the home. Not sure if people think that males can handle it, but it doesn’t get any easier and things don’t just go away. We have to deal with practices, recitals, shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc. Even Rachel who wrote this article…at the end she says she blogs on the professional army wife’s website. Why can’t it just say…professional army spouse???
While stationed in England, my wife had to deploy at least every other month. Yes, it was only for about 3 weeks at a time, but it was to dangerous locations and at times I didn’t even know where she was. Ask me how many times, “key spouses” contacted me in the three years where were there? Ummmm…can count them on one hand and not use all those fingers!
Male spouses have the same feelings as female spouses in the military….let’s try and make it equal.
Kudos to you Chris Kiser for a job well done!
Have you thought about getting a support group together for spouses in your area? Primarily with the focus on male spouses….that could possibly be a great ice breaker, as all spouses, both male and female would have a chance to mingle and share experiences, feelings, and advice.
Wishing you the best,
Dee
Sorry to say I too do not feel appreciated. I care for my mom (Alzheimer’s), the kids and worked as a nurse. I have made MANY sacrifices for all of them. I always put myself last and recently found out after my husband returned from deployment that a woman got drunk and kissed him and he kissed her back. He was also intoxicated. He said he stopped it and she apologized but that doesn’t undo the image for me or the fact it happened. Before we married I asked that if anything ever happened he tell me first and not insult me by hiding it and he hid it. How am I to feel appreciated when I never went out, took care of the family, did volunteer work to care for the community, and did a heck of a job I might add? I can repair just about anything and the kids are all honor students, eat healthy and the house is spotless. Then when he returned a neighbor came up to me and handed me a card. He said “this is for him not you…he makes the sacrifice”. Ignorance.
Dear Karen, your neighbor is indeed ignorant! If he is not a military spouse,….then he cannot begin to understand the “sacrifices” that we make daily.
You are doing a fine job as are many of our military spouses worldwide….you are appreciated, especially by those of us who truly understand.
Keep your chin up and continue to be the great spouse and mom that you are.
Blessings, Dee