I recently read an open letter from a military spouse. In this open letter this military wife unleashes all of her emotions about how she feels about women who serve in the military, how she thinks female service members feel about military wives and how these two group treat each other.
She clearly feels threatened by female service members and blames men for making her feel that way.
That’s what her letter comes down to or that’s what I’ve taken away from the read.
Initially I didn’t want to read the entire article, which is not like me at all. The executive editor pleaded with the readers in her foreword to read all the way to the end though, so I did.
The beginning mostly sounds like the whiny rant of a young military spouse.
That’s why I didn’t want to read further, but I did and I thought about what she said.
I Don’t Feel Threatened by Anyone
I certainly don’t feel threatened by anyone. Why would I?
Apparently, there are military wives that do or this letter wouldn’t have been written. I have been part of military life my entire life. Both of my parents were in the Army and my husband is in the Navy.
My husband does not serve on a ship. He serves in a small community that’s different from fleet Navy. There are a small number of female service members in this field. I do not feel threatened by them.
I’m impressed by them. Being a service member is a really tough job. It’s especially hard for a female. I think it’s amazing that these women are physically able to do the things that are required by this job.
I Feel Like Fighting on Behalf of Female Service Members
It takes an emotionally strong woman to be in a male-dominated field.
I hear what some of the men say about the female service members.
They don’t think they belong in the military.
They think they aren’t good enough.
And no matter how hard they work they won’t cut it in their minds.
Unlike the author of that open letter who wants to soak up every bit of that kind of conversation, I feel like fighting on behalf of the female service member.
The Relationship Between Military Wives and Female Service Members Is Complicated
I mentioned this open letter to a few military wives that have husbands serving on ships. They completely agreed with the author of that letter.
They relayed tales of male service members being kicked off ships for sleeping with female service members, of people cheating on their spouses while at sea and how female service members are a distraction to the mission.
They feel threatened by their presence.
Likewise, female service members taunt military wives for being overweight, lazy and unambitious.
They feel that military wives use their spouses’ rank to get their way.
They feel that military wives make up things to get them off ships.
It’s a pretty rough relationship between military wives and female service members.
Some of these situations are based off real events, but not all military wives fit this description and not all female service members act this way.
I’ve heard of these stereotypes but have never faced these situations, nor did I know it was such a big problem. I’m sure there are plenty more military wives and female service members that have experience with this.